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Sanhedrin Nightmare
Feb. 6th, 2011 09:55 pmI had a horrible nightmare two weeks ago, bad enough that on its account I fasted for the day to try to get rid of it.
In this dream I was condemned to death by the Sanhedrin, which was suddenly back in power. My crime was heresy (not actually punishable by death). What this heresy was never became clear. I was terrified and went around telling people in the hopes that they would save me; however, I made the mistake once of saying that I was being put to death "like R Eliezer" and on account of this nobody took me seriously, thinking only that I was conceited for comparing myself to him.
In the dream R Eliezer really had been put to death for heresy, and I tried to argue with an old Talmud teacher that our cases really were similar and that I wasn't being silly. I showed him a (fictional) sugiya over whether or not R Eliezer had been put into a sandy pit with water in it or without water in it. He kept giggling at me and I felt an increasing sense of panic.
Finally I was being dragged to the beach and I knew that death was coming soon. I started to scream and cry, although nobody paid attention. Even the guards were acting as if they were simply going to an outing by the seaside. From a distance I saw H. wearing a pink, flower-pattern bathing suit and I felt I had to get to him to protect him from people that would want to beat him up for wearing such a thing, but first of all, I couldn't catch up to him or break through the guards, and second of all, he was actually walking with great confidence and power, evaluating people on the beach as he went along and giving advice.
I was brought struggling to the sandy pit on the beach in which they would kill me. I glanced over to the side and saw a man, squirming on the ground and stuffing his mouth with hundreds of huge insects which were crawling on the beach. Again I started to scream and cry and was still doing so when I woke up.
ETA: Before I was dragged away, I was in a classroom with my chavruta, who told me I had to do vidui (ritual confession) before I died. She was helping me look through a million siddurim to try to find it but we just couldn't. She looked at the clock and told me that the proper time of day for vidui was almost over, at midday I would no longer be allowed. I fell on my face and tried from memory and also spontaneously said many things on my own, crying from fear. It felt like God accepted it but at that point the guards came in to drag me off to my execution.
In this dream I was condemned to death by the Sanhedrin, which was suddenly back in power. My crime was heresy (not actually punishable by death). What this heresy was never became clear. I was terrified and went around telling people in the hopes that they would save me; however, I made the mistake once of saying that I was being put to death "like R Eliezer" and on account of this nobody took me seriously, thinking only that I was conceited for comparing myself to him.
In the dream R Eliezer really had been put to death for heresy, and I tried to argue with an old Talmud teacher that our cases really were similar and that I wasn't being silly. I showed him a (fictional) sugiya over whether or not R Eliezer had been put into a sandy pit with water in it or without water in it. He kept giggling at me and I felt an increasing sense of panic.
Finally I was being dragged to the beach and I knew that death was coming soon. I started to scream and cry, although nobody paid attention. Even the guards were acting as if they were simply going to an outing by the seaside. From a distance I saw H. wearing a pink, flower-pattern bathing suit and I felt I had to get to him to protect him from people that would want to beat him up for wearing such a thing, but first of all, I couldn't catch up to him or break through the guards, and second of all, he was actually walking with great confidence and power, evaluating people on the beach as he went along and giving advice.
I was brought struggling to the sandy pit on the beach in which they would kill me. I glanced over to the side and saw a man, squirming on the ground and stuffing his mouth with hundreds of huge insects which were crawling on the beach. Again I started to scream and cry and was still doing so when I woke up.
ETA: Before I was dragged away, I was in a classroom with my chavruta, who told me I had to do vidui (ritual confession) before I died. She was helping me look through a million siddurim to try to find it but we just couldn't. She looked at the clock and told me that the proper time of day for vidui was almost over, at midday I would no longer be allowed. I fell on my face and tried from memory and also spontaneously said many things on my own, crying from fear. It felt like God accepted it but at that point the guards came in to drag me off to my execution.
